Thursday, May 17, 2012
   
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Such is life

I still remember thinking something was not right, it was September 2008 almost stock take time at work and I was thinking this flu just won't go away after a few trips to the doctors and a few courses of antibiotics later all it had done was give me thrush and even that would not go away. Xmas was very hectic as it was only the second time round I has been a department manager and trying to make sure everything was in order was very trying. Amongst all this I was also hosting xmas at our house. On xmas eve after working all week leading up to and all day as soon as I got home it was straight into cooking for the feast the next day. As I started cutting the onion next thing I now I had chopped off my thumb from feeling dizzy and light headed, thinking it was just from the stress of the day I was in for a very big shock. As the boys sat me down and wrapped my thumb up I thought okay I think things are okay now, as I went to stand up I knew it was a bad idea tyring to get back to the chair. I passed out and fell onto the fence post almost going through my arm smashing a glass on the way and only just missing a rock with my head. I always had this thing with the sight of blood but never before had I actually passed out.

After getting through xmas and the new year my husband and I had decided to try IVF to have a child of our own (he has three boys from a previous marriage), this was our only option as he had a vasectomy about 13 years prior. So for all this to happen back to the doctors for a referral and on the waiting list. Whilst we were waiting for our appointment I thought okay go off the pill, get a pap smear done, easier said than done of course. After 3 attempts to get a pap smear done each time the doctor checking my blood pressure and it was high so this time she decided to check my blood sugars. My blood sugar level was 9.6. Amongst all this we had seen the IVF doctor and started the long procedure involved in the process. So with all the blood tests done I ventured back to get my sugars tested at the pathology, this being a big mission as I had been very crook with diarrhoea again and the flu, not to mention the big fear of needles I had which involves me lying down with a washer on my forehead and the back of my neck for about an hour.


With all things in place to go ahead with IVF I go back to the doctors to get my results. It was right on Easter time when the doctor told me I had type 2 diabetes, after paying my bill with trying not to cry, I got home and burst into tears. My husband has been a great support throughout everything and could not have done it without him. With my husband trying to comfort me, my mum and dad turned up as he rang them for me and told them about everything...we had not told anyone about IVF as we didn’t want to jinx ourselves - didn’t work very well though did it.....

I got in to see a specialist very quickly and he could not understand why I was a type 2 diabetic so I was sent for more test to get all my body information. They put it for the past 3 months and yes this also included doing the test where you have to wee in a bottle for 24 hrs 2 days in a row!. This also meant I had to put IVF on hold for the moment until I had everything under control.

I have to admit it did explain the thrush, weight loss, tired all the time, sick with something always, pee a lot, blurred vision, I never had the problem with thirst though.

After seeing the specialist and waiting for test results I thought okay what do I do? I wanted it controlled,  so as my next appointment wasn’t for 2 months mum took me to see her cousin who has type 2 to help explain what to eat and what not to, exercise etc. She was a great help. We ate fish 3 time a week, 5 serves of vegies twice a day and two serves of fruit. As well as I started walking home from work my husband would drop me off in the morning, with all the hard work I had done feeling pretty good with and within myself and I had lost about 20 kilos -  it was time to go back to the doctors.

I still can't explain the feeling that came over me when my doctor told me I had been misdiagnosed and would now have to do 4 needles a day  as I was a type 1 diabetic! I thought I held myself together pretty well until I walked out and thought what the hell did they just say!!
I rang mum and started bawling my eyes out. After calming down she met me at my brothers house nearby where my nephews gave me huge hugs and my husband came to get me as I was in a state of shock.

The first time I gave myself a needle I was in agony, from not trying to pass out from the sight, not to mention not to hurt myself from having very shaky hands was a very big ask. For about 2 weeks I sat and cried every morning trying to force myself to eat as I thought if I didn’t eat I would not need to have a needle and then that’s when it hit me - it's not just about me it's about my family, the plans we had for a family, everything we had been through was not for nothing, but there needed to be a purpose for me.

So I sit here today about six months later thinking to myself I still wish this wasn’t my life but I am still understanding it, we had a very torturuous IVF attempt which did not work but we will be trying again and the best people for you are the ones that love you.



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